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Advice on how to support a friend

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  • August 5, 2015 at 9:37 pm #75642
    Advice on how to support a friend

    Hi, new to this but I’m hoping some of you may be able to help.
    One of my best friends has a son with DMD, he’s 13 and declining at the fastest rate his mum has ever seen. I just want to help but find it hard to know what to say as there isn’t anything that can be said to make things better. I feel really useless. Any suggestions?

    Sally43
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    August 6, 2015 at 2:15 pm #96764
    Re: Advice on how to support a friend

    It is understandable to feel helpless, all I can suggest is to be there, be a sponge to soak in what your friend says but at the same time not let all that deeply affect you. It can be so easy to be swallowed by the condition and medical things and the person gets forgotten.

    I am sure your friend appreciates all that you do. Would it be possible every once in a while for you and your friend to go out? Maybe a drink and something to eat, a mooch about the shops, something to give a change of environment, have a brain break from all that is going on?

    I'm always the animal, my body's the cage

    I blog about nothingness www.amgroves.com

    AM
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    August 9, 2015 at 5:23 pm #96765
    Re: Advice on how to support a friend

    Thanks for your response. We do try and get out when we can but the logistics sometimes prevent us.

    Sally43
    Participant
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    Joined: 05/08/2015
    August 10, 2015 at 10:51 pm #96766
    Re: Advice on how to support a friend

    simple question to ask your friend “how’s it going”. then just listen to them

    stefan

    littlestef
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    Joined: 04/10/2011
    August 12, 2015 at 9:10 am #96767
    Re: Advice on how to support a friend

    @sally43 wrote:

    Hi, new to this but I’m hoping some of you may be able to help.
    One of my best friends has a son with DMD, he’s 13 and declining at the fastest rate his mum has ever seen. I just want to help but find it hard to know what to say as there isn’t anything that can be said to make things better. I feel really useless. Any suggestions?

    You are probably already doing the best thing for them by just being there. You are
    showing an awareness of the depth and scale of their problems. They will realise
    they have someone who does understand Ann’s is there even if at times it
    is only to talk to our just “vent” sometimes.

    Will Done.

    "Even if you are not paranoid, it does not mean they are not out to get you!".

    taungfox
    Participant
    Posts: 4,630
    Joined: 27/09/2010
    August 21, 2015 at 1:33 am #96768
    Re: Advice on how to support a friend

    Agree with all the posts above, you sound exactly like the best friend she needs :yes:

    A practical suggestion that may or may not work – go round to her house with some nice tablecloth and bunting with some delicious home cooked food, eat together with the family and offer to wash up or load the dishwasher.. just like a meal you would have had outside but no effort required from her end..

    Oh, and make sure she’s linked up with her local care adviser..
    http://oldsite.musculardystrophyuk.org/get-the-right-care-and-support/people-and-places-to-help-you/care-advisors/

    tea_gone_cold
    Participant
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    Joined: 21/08/2015
    August 21, 2015 at 5:10 pm #96769
    Re: Advice on how to support a friend

    Welcome to the forum Tea…Gone….

    Superb you are giving superb advice on your first visit. The Care Advisors are Superb.

    "Even if you are not paranoid, it does not mean they are not out to get you!".

    taungfox
    Participant
    Posts: 4,630
    Joined: 27/09/2010
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