Marital problems

I am new to this site. I am a 26 year old female who was diagnosed with limb-girdle muscular distrophy at the age of 6. I had been able to walk unassisted and had been a fairly independent person throughout my time in highschool and for a number of years after graduation. My husband and I met in 2010, we quickly developed a deepened and loving relationship. He was aware of the progressive nature of my disability and shortened lifespan. We got married in early 2011, I was still quite mobile other than I walked slow and with a waddling gait and required very little physical assistance with my daily affairs. He said that found me quite attractive with having blonde hair, blue eyes, and a 5’3″, 115 lb. slim figure.

Over the course of the next year and a half things took a turn for the worse. I had fractured my knee twice and had surgery both times. By the end of 2012 I was only able to walk short distances and needed a manual wheelchair for trips to the store ,mall, church etc. and I was starting to put on weight due to being more sedentary. My husband had to start doing more of the household chores and seemed fine with that but we seemed to start having more argument over my spending and him not keeping the house very clean. I began finding it hard to be romantically and intimately involved and attracted to someone who just felt and acted like a caretaker. My husband was still able to work fulltime while I stayed at home. For about 3 months I had an affair with a tall, strong and handsome former coworker, who came over while my husband worked, and was always giving me flowers and gifts. I ended the affair after my husband and I moved 100 miles away to be closer to my family.

In 2013, after falling and fracturing my knee a second time I decided on giving up on walking altogether. I had put on over 45 pounds since we’d met and was no longer able to fit in and maneuver myself around in my manual wheelchair very well due to my rapid weight gain and weakened shoulder muscles. I finally got a power chair and ended up sacrificing more independence. I could no longer transfer independently getting out bed, bathing, using the bathroom which meant my husband could no longer work full time. As I have become more sedentary, I’ve gained more weight and lost more mobility. I need help getting dressed since I can no longer raise my arms over my head. It has gotten much harder for me to leave the house. My husband does all the grocery shopping and runs all the errands about the only time I get out is around holidays to go to family gatherings. I have suspected my husband of cheating at times but he’s said he has been faithful. By the end of last year my weight had ballooned to 189 pounds. My husband isn’t much taller (5’7″) than I am and about 20 pounds lighter and isn’t very strong. It is a struggle for him to get me stood up or even to assist me in turning over in bed at night. He can barely handle the challenges that i currently face and which will likely escalate in the years ahead.

Over the past few years my husband had mentioned about wanting to start a family. While I would cherish the idea of being a mother, I don’t see how I could handle 9 months of being pregnant, given my condition, and how the additional weight gain would effect my mobility. Also after giving birth I feel I would have great difficulty in holding, lifting, and caring for a baby due to the weakness in my shoulders. I think having a child would greatly increase the challenges we already face.

We frequently argue over money. He accuses me of being bossy and not helping out where I can. He often feels overwhelmed and depressed. He also claims that i’ve gotten very irratable over the past 2 years.

Overall it seems as though as my LGMD has progressed and my disabilties have worsened it has increasingly strained our marriage. While I still have some feelings for my husband, I have given thought to divorce and moving back in with my parents.

Are there others who are severely disabled who have managed to have a happy and successful marriage or relationship?

Or should someone in my situation just give up on the idea of ever having a satisfying love life?